Are you Social?

Greetings,

I recently came across somewhat of a revelation on what it means to be human. While I take pride in thinking that I knew much aplenty on the physical and biological aspects of what makes a human being, it has never quite occurred to me the importance of one particular facet of humanity. That humans are, very much meant to be social beings.

I sometimes resign myself to being anti-social. Even to the extent that I tell myself, “yes, it is a good thing”. Its a way of preventing oneself from getting into difficult interpersonal situations. And sometimes it is even a requirement in our working or learning context to be somewhat anti-social.

So why does things become this way? Many people blame it on “Society”, but why does society, the very definition of which is the extension of the human social instinct, drives people to the state of being anti-social?

Individualism. No doubt this is the inherent and hidden buzz word of many a cultures one can find abound. In fact, if you take a little time to listen to any commercial or speech you will be hard pressed to find any mentioning of phrases like, “our success”. You will be more likely to hear phrases of, “your success depends on..” or “my success depends on...”.

When it comes to relationships, individuals think it is a choice for one to choose whether to enter into or to withdraw from. We increasingly think in terms of “what you owe me” rather than what we owe others. We feel that one has the rights, the rights to certain possessions and we think very defensively.

Have you ever thought of what you will teach your children next time to help them succeed? We expect to teach our children the street-wise skills of doing well in school, fighting for jobs, surviving in politics, fighting for your rights. How about the skills of how to maintain relationships or cultivate good ones? Have you thought of that?

With the age of individualism, the law has provisions for human rights. And while it is indeed important to prevent exploitation of people, no one has ever bothered to explain that these laws are "legal negotiations, not ethical statements". Your rights are legal, but how you exert them should be based on your own moral and ethical beliefs.

Our doors have never been stronger, and our window grills never been safer. Surveillance and security cameras have never been more advance. And suicide rates have never been higher.

We can have wealth and health and many an intellectual pursuits. You can build defenses around your life to minimize social contact but without this very human, very innate element of being social, are you ever as much as you can be? Are you happy?